My Life Was Over At Age 8

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Steven Kay, Steven Kay Media LLC

I had a remarkable childhood. Not always an ideal one, but definitely a cherished one. I had two parents that loved me very much and raised me to have a positive outlook on life. No matter what we went through as a family, from the good times to the struggles, I knew everything would be okay.

I had a wonderful family, with two older brothers who looked after me and protected me (except when they were picking on me themselves, which they did often). I had many aunts and uncles, as well as cousins, nieces, and nephews, all of whom visited regularly for family gatherings. All of my grandparents lived in town and I got to spend time with them day in and out, but it was my Grandpa Henry (from my mother’s side) I adored most of all.

My grandfather was my best friend. I remember hanging out with him everyday of my life for as far back as I had memories. Every time I heard his Cadillac pulling up I ran out to greet him regardless of whatever I was doing (including jumping out of the tub once and straight out the door while my mother ran after me with a towel). He would take me around town for ice cream or to run errands or to just drive. Every time we passed the automated car wash, he would take me through because I was fascinated by the whole thing (keep in mind it was the early 70’s). I loved riding in that car, and had asked my Grandpa if I could have it when he died on many occasions (yes even at that age I was very direct), which he gladly said he would.

Then on September 28, 1979 it happened, my Grandfather died. Everything changed in an instant and would never be the same again. I never cried so hard in my life, nor do I think I have since, and I didn’t think I would ever stop. The pain and loss were excruciating. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. I had understood the concept of death since I was four years old, so as my mother explained to me that my Grandpa had a heart attack in his sleep and never woke up from it, I knew exactly what she was telling me and what it meant to me. My life was over at age 8, and would never be the same again. Yet somehow I survived.

Since that moment I have experienced many traumatic moments and heartaches. Breaking up with my first love, getting fired from a job that I had enjoyed, losing everything on a business venture gone awry; but very few, if any, have ever compared to what I had felt back then at that moment. Yet each time I had thought there was no way I could get past the pain, I found a way that I could.

I have learned time and again no matter how bad it may feel or may actually be there is a way through it all to a more pleasant state, a place where we can not only survive but also use that loss to create, gain, and thrive in life. I think a lot of getting to this place has to do with our attitude toward life itself. Charles Swindoll said, “We cannot change our past… we cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” My family instilled in me this approach to life, and it is the greatest gift they could have ever bestowed upon me. I learned this from my Grandfather and all of my grandparents and my parents and everyone that surrounded me in my childhood. Like I said, it was remarkable.

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Steven Kay, Talk Show Host & Producer / Media Buyer & Consultant, Steven Kay Media LLC, 713-STEVEN-K (713-783-8365), me@StevenKayLive.com, www.StevenKayLive.com.

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