By Lorraine Grubbs
It was our second month of coaching. John, the newly appointed Chief Pilot of an aviation company, at the request of his boss, had been working with me on getting his ego under control. I was pleased with John’s progress…and then in our sixth session, the inevitable “one step forward and two back” occurred.
John walked into our session shaking his head and saying, “Boy, do I need to talk to you…I think I blew it yesterday”.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Well, as you know, things were going so well. I was much more aware of my ego, and felt I was doing a good job of controlling it. But yesterday, my boss told me that one of our Captains had quit and they needed me to fly his plane. I used to fly that plane exclusively but when I became Chief Pilot, part of the promotion was getting bumped up to the bigger plane. In a company like this, you’re usually hired to fly the small planes and you progress to the bigger ones as you get promoted. It’s a real coup to get to fly the bigger plane. So, when I was told they were temporarily putting me on the smaller plane until another pilot could be found, I went ballistic. I told my boss I’d paid my dues and didn’t feel it fair to have to be punished because one of the pilots had quit, and, I hadn’t even known he was quitting! As my boss listened to all my ranting and raving, he told me he was disappointed in my reaction.”
“John”, he said, “When you are a leader, you have to look at the bigger picture. This has nothing to do with you personally and everything to do with keeping the business going in the right direction. Obviously, you just wanted the Chief Pilot position to fly the bigger plane, certainly not for the leadership responsibilities. It’s disappointing you did not even know the Captain was leaving. When was the last time you spoke to him? Instead of seeing this as a company problem, you are looking at how it impacts you personally. Believe me, if I could make any other decision, I would. You deserve to fly the bigger plane, and eventually you will be doing so again, but in the interim, I need for you to be the leader I hired you to be and jump in to help wherever necessary and if you can’t do that without having a good attitude, then maybe you’re not the right person for this position!”
“Ouch”, I said, “That isn’t good! So what are you going to do, John?”
“I thought long and hard about our conversation”, said John, “and remembered some things you had taught me. ‘Begin with the end in mind’ came to the forefront as I realized that as my boss was telling me about the Captain, I immediately quit thinking about anything other than the decision that was made without my input. I did not take the time to think about his decision and why he may have made it without consulting me, the Chief Pilot. I was too busy having a pity party for myself. ‘Get to know your people’ is another concept you and I discussed. I realize now that I had neglected to touch base with this Captain for several weeks and thus will never know if he might have confided in me prior to leaving. I will also never know if I could have done something to keep him around. The simple truth is I was so enamored flying the big plane that I really did neglect my duties as Chief Pilot. I clearly see where I was in the wrong and let my darned ego take over again! Boy, this ego of mine is not easy to tame!”
“Well, John”, I said, “I couldn’t have said it better myself. Awareness is the first part of moving forward. We discussed how the path to leadership is not always a straight one and by taking this step backward, you will now be able to move forward again. The main thing is that you share your learning with your boss. It’s important that he knows this was a blip, not a complete fall back to square one.”
“You’re right”, said John, “I will set up a meeting with him to apologize and let him know I’m okay with flying the smaller plane temporarily. I also want to let him know that my reaction in part was due to being blindsided by his decision and that in the future I would like to be consulted, when possible, prior to decisions affecting me and my team. I also want to share a couple of résumés from pilots that we could interview to replace the Captain that left.”
“Great”, I said, “This way, John, you become part of the solution, not part of the problem; but NONE of this will matter if you are not sincere. You cannot apologize if you truly don’t mean it and you cannot accept flying the smaller plane if you truly do resent it. You must let your boss know you clearly see the bigger picture.”
“Yup, I will”, said John, “Thanks! I’ll let you know what happens.”
“Excellent, John…just remember…ego is not your friend when you are allowing it to dictate your choices in leadership conversations…see you next month!”
As I watched him walk confidently out of the building, I was proud of John and the progress he was making. I think John’s desire to be included in future leadership decisions was warranted. I would get an opportunity to ask the question of John’s boss during our monthly briefing and get some insight as to why John was not included.
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Lorraine Grubbs is the president of Lessons in Loyalty. You can contact Lorraine by phone at 281-813-0305, by email at lorrainegrubbs@gmail.com, or visit her on the web at www.lessonsinloyalty.com.
