By Lorraine Grubbs
John, the newly appointed Chief Pilot for a small aviation company was lacking basic leadership skills and his boss had retained me to teach him how to be an effective leader. John and I had been working together for a couple of months and had just reviewed his 360-degree leadership assessment showing his strengths and many weaknesses. John, determined to improve, left our session with the intent of meeting with each of his pilots. In those meetings he had two objectives in mind: improve communication and figure out how to build trust with each of them.
In our fourth session, John walked into the Starbucks, sat down and excitedly started telling me about his meetings with his team. “You are not going to believe this”, he said, “But I found out a number of things from my team that was bothering them and I had no idea!”
“Morning, John”, I said, “It’s so good to see you. Tell me about the meetings you had with your team members since the last time we met.”
“Well”, said John, “It was interesting. The best advice you gave me at our last session was to not make our meetings about me, but rather about them, and I have to tell you, that was not easy for me. And then I remembered you also told me to seek first to understand. So I did. As a result, I was able to keep my ego under control and not get defensive when I heard things that felt like personal attacks. I learned a lot about my team and the perceptions they had of me. I didn’t realize that they really didn’t trust me and thought I was arrogant. That hurt!
When I asked them specifically what I had said and done to create that perception, they were able to give me date, time, and place! There was no denying that I had not only acted in a non-leadership manner, but also that I had completely missed their reactions. So, before closing out each meeting, we agreed that in order to keep this moving forward, we would meet every other week for 30 minutes and, if we couldn’t meet in person, we would talk over the phone. I got their assurance that they would give me honest feedback, and they got the promise from me that there would be no negative repercussions for that honest feedback. All in all, I think these meetings went really well!”
“John”, I replied, “That’s great! I am so excited that you not only took the feedback to heart, but that you have a plan moving forward to keep growing the trust with your team. The bi-monthly meetings are a good move…What else are you prepared to do to ensure your leadership skills are moving forward?”
“Well,” John said, “I’ve been doing some thinking on that. Remember how you told me to write down the top two things the team told me I needed to improve on? I’d like to work on those two things over the next month or so. Those are trust and communication – both good and bad.”
“Good,” I said, “Because you’ve already started on both and by meeting with your team to talk openly and honestly, you’ve shown them that you care. And, what you do with their feedback now is the most important. I would strongly encourage you to share your own learning with them during your meetings (after you hear what’s on their minds, of course). Then they will know you are truly accountable to staying the course and this wasn’t just an exercise of the day. And, don’t forget to listen and acknowledge the good things too. If you do that during your meetings, they will know that you are paying attention to both their efforts and mistakes.”
“Roger that!” said John. “It just seems like I’ve been clueless all these years. I’m glad to be getting the basics down”.
“Well, John”, I said, “Becoming a good leader is not easy, as you’ve just discovered. Some days you will feel like you’re on top of everything and then others, you’ll feel like you took a huge step backwards. That’s normal; so don’t beat yourself up when it happens, because it will. Your ego has been in charge for many years and it won’t go away in a month. Remember that we are here to help you understand that your ego has no place in true leadership. Be strong and sure; but don’t be arrogant and don’t make it about you. Keep that in mind and you will develop their trust and respect. In fact, my hope for you is that one day, one of your pilots, when asked who influenced him/her the most, would name you. So, stay energized, stay consistent, and walk the talk…and you’ll be fine.”
“Thanks!” said John; I appreciate your feedback and encouragement. So, to recap our meeting, when I go back to the office I will:
- Make sure I meet with each pilot on a regular basis. In fact, I’ll set up a schedule for each that we can put on the calendar.
- Ensure that in those meetings I let them do most of the talking and I discuss not only the issues they are having, but point out the good stuff too.
- Communicate with them the things I am doing to improve my own communication and leadership efforts.”
“Perfect!” I said…that’s a great recap. Good luck and see you next month!”
Stay tuned next month when John takes a step backward…
Lorraine Grubbs is the president of Lessons in Loyalty. You can contact Lorraine by phone at 281-813-0305, by email at [email protected], or visit her website at www.lessonsinloyalty.com.
