By Donna Rooney
Even after all these years, I can still remember my mom saying, “It’s always better to give than to receive.” In my youth, this was a concept that I struggled to understand but as I grew wiser with age, I learned to embrace it. This expression is now summarized by many in the networking world as “Givers Gain” which was coined by Ivan Misner, founder of BNI.
Simply put, “Givers Gain” is a philosophy based on the law of reciprocity. In the context of networking, people who adopt this philosophy dedicate themselves to providing leads to others rather than making business for themselves their primary concern. The hope is that others treated in such a manner will naturally become eager to repay such kindness through reciprocation by providing business leads in return. Repaying kindness with kindness is a very basic human response which in turn fosters the spread of additional good deeds.
Networking is something that most people do every day without even being aware of it. Sure, some are better at it than others; but as social animals, humans are natural networkers. Still, effective networking is a skill that must be learned and practiced. Really successful networkers never stop sharpening their skills but for some, networking can seem a daunting experience. Networking isn’t only for people with “Type A” personalities either.
Here are a few simple truths that everyone should keep in mind:
Always remember that people are just people who are filled with many of the same wants, desires, hopes, and fears. No matter what position a person holds in the business world, they all put their pants on one leg at a time just like you do. If you can’t work past your fear of rejection and reach out to strangers, you will quite possibly miss making a friend or possibly a great business deal.
Remember that when you attend networking events or are just networking in general, do not approach it as a sales call. Remember when you began to date, how difficult it was to not be too anxious on that first date? The same is true with networking. If you appear too eager, this can be seen by others as being shallow and make you seem more interested in a quick sale rather than a long term business relationship. Apply this principle to your networking skills. Networking should be taken in the long view and it needs to be engaged in slowly in order to create trust and credibility. So it’s best to not try to close deals after the initial meeting.
Use your time intelligently by focusing on your core business prospects. Unless you just enjoy attending networking events, pare these down to those that will offer the best quality and number of individuals in businesses that will expand your customer-base.
Request more business cards than you give out. Provide your card if someone requests it, but when you request someone else’s card, you’ve just placed yourself in control of the follow-up. Once you’ve determined whose cards represent those you need to follow up with, do so immediately while the memory of who you are is fresh in your prospect’s mind. Send follow-up communications right away, even if it’s just a short note reminding the person about your conversation. You’ll make a positive impression and perhaps a business contact or client as a result. At worst, it’ll widen your base of contacts which may prove to be useful later.
As with anything else, a little introspection is good for us all. Being fully aware of your own strengths and weaknesses is important to success in networking. Each of us falls at a different place along the personality spectrum. So being honest with your self, which is always the best policy, allows you to more carefully plan what personal traits need to be accepted or improved upon if necessary.
People who do incredibly well aren’t just trying to sell the service or the product; they offer service and value. That is a giving mentality and it works. We all want to help our friends and help people who are kind and generous. When we are focused on other people, our own problems are minimized. In general, people who give more tend to be happier.
In closing, I’d like to share a story I’d read some time back that has a direct bearing on what I have shared: On his deathbed, an elderly gentleman was asked, “If given the chance to come back as anyone, who would he choose? He responded, “I’d come back as the man I could have been but never was. I’d act with more courage and I wouldn’t allow my fear to deny me opportunities that I was too afraid to grasp before.”
Don’t let your fears prevent you from living the life you deserve.
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Donna Rooney is a Senior Manager with SendOutCards. Please feel free to send a personalized card from her website at www.sendoutcards.com/DRooney. To learn more, contact Donna by phone at 713-202-0786 or by email at [email protected].